Metroid 5: I waited 19 years for this one

 I successfully avoided almost all spoilers before playing Metroid Dread, so I will offer you the same courtesy before reading this post: Spoilers abound.

This is what I was able to get with no hints or walkthroughs. Respectable enough, I think.

I am, to put it mildly, a massive Metroid fanboy, and I had a grand time with Dread. Let's get started.

Story

Our tale picks up following the events of Metroid Fusion. How the Galactic Federation reacted to Samus' unauthorized destruction of Biologic Space Labs and SR388 isn't clear, but they must be on speaking terms once again. (Maybe Samus has the mother of all liability insurance.) The X parasites have been detected on planet ZDR. After the Federation's initial robotic expedition predictably fails, they put out a call for bounty hunters. Since Samus is obviously the person most qualified to deal with the X (thanks to the Metroid-based vaccine she received in Fusion), she jumps at the call. Upon landing on ZDR and descending to the Artaria region, Samus is immediately attacked and overpowered by a Chozo warrior, who leaves her unconscious. The elevator leading to the surface is out of order, so she'll need to get back to her ship the hard way.

Where we begin.

We have a chat with the Adam AI, but it's a very different relationship than in Fusion. Adam has only the vaguest idea of what's going on, and it's almost always up to Samus to figure out where to go. We quickly have an encounter with one of our new friends, the E.M.M.I.s. As was implied in the trailer, it's a greatly expanded iteration on the SA-X from Fusion. Whereas the SA-X was limited to a few scripted sequences and a boss fight at the end, each area in Dread has a large, centrally located "E.M.M.I. Zone" through which the E.M.M.I. will pursue you until you manage to kill it. The borders of each E.M.M.I. Zone are marked with a unique door type (which does not need to shot in order to open!) that is clearly intended to evoke the titular Dread upon encountering it and realizing that the only way forward requires evading an E.M.M.I. (Word Nerd alert: "Dread" is a specific type of fear, that of the inevitable or inexorable, that is felt in advance of the thing that is feared. Technically, you stop dreading the E.M.M.I. once it spots you, and now simply feel ordinary fear.) Again differentiating itself from the SA-X, the E.M.M.I. has only a melee attack, but it's a one-hit kill unless you pull off a very difficult quick-time event.

I'd love to see the effects of Dread's events on Excelion's stock price. Also, it would be super cool if future games established that Federation battleships use the same armor.

The next major story event is Samus' encounter with Quiet Robe, a friendly Chozo who explains what's going on. Our adversary from earlier was Raven Beak, a Chozo who worships the Metroids (Chozo for "ultimate warrior"). Since Samus exterminated the Metroids and was later infused with their DNA, she is now technically the last Metroid, and Raven Beak wants to unleash her powers on the unsuspecting galaxy. He's also sealed X parasites on ZDR and released footage to prompt the Federation to send the E.M.M.I.s, which he hacked and reprogrammed to "extract" DNA from Samus. The hacking appears to have been done with the aid of the Central Units, which appear to be organic computers of the same type as Mother Brain from Metroid and Super Metroid. They even have turret defenses identical to those protecting Mother Brain! Killing one of these temporarily empowers Samus with the Omega Beam, the only weapon that can destroy an E.M.M.I. (Sadly, the game never really explains how this works.) Quiet Robe is tragically killed at the end of his cutscene, but not before Samus gives her single line of dialogue in the Chozo language.

Alas, Quiet Robe, we hardly knew ye.

Later, Samus will release the X parasites by opening the fortress of Elun, which is something of a mixed bag. One the one hand, she did just annihilate an entire planetary ecosystem and turn everything in it into an existential threat to every living being except for her. On the other hand, she did get the Plasma Beam, so it's something of a wash. Meanwhile, the Metroid DNA from the vaccine is activating and merging with Samus' own to turn her into a Metroid in more than the metaphorical sense, and she manifests the ability to drain energy as the Metroids once did. At last, she confronts Raven Beak in his flying fortress, and it's revealed that he's been impersonating Adam. We're never told when this started, so every one of "Adam's" communications could actually have been from Raven Beak. Since Raven Beak contributed his DNA to Samus during her Chozo upbringing, he considers her to be his daughter, and he wants to clone her with her now-active Metroid powers and use the clones to lay waste to the galaxy. Samus begs to differ, and the final boss fight begins. Victory will see Samus crashing the fortress, vaporizing an X-infested Raven Beak, and making a mad dash to her ship before the planet detonates, as is traditional. She's completely activated her Metroid powers, however, and can't interact with her ship without draining its energy. At last, she is saved by an X imitating Quiet Robe, which allows itself to be absorbed by her so she can access Quiet Robe's DNA, which contains the potential to control Metroids. Back to normal, Samus takes off while ZDR explodes.

Bad. Ass.

So.

It's obvious that Mercury Steam's writing took a lot of lessons from Metroid: Other M. Specifically, they characterized Samus in exactly the opposite manner. Other M Samus was a PTSD-addled wreck with daddy issues. The fans hated this, and for good reason. Dread Samus is having none of it. The boss cutscenes are where she really shines. The bosses like to do the standard video game boss intro: flail about a bit, roar, show off their weak spot, the usual. Samus does not give a shit. Her body language makes it clear that this is not her first rodeo, and gives off a general air of "are you done?" Kraid's (oh, by the way, Kraid is back!) is particularly great. She just stands there though his song-and-dance, then shoots him in the mouth. It's wonderful. Any pretense of Adam being able to give her orders is gone (if, indeed, you ever actually speak to Adam). He has suggestions at best: Samus is 100% autonomous through the whole game.

Gameplay

Basically, Dread is what everyone wanted: traditional 2D Metroid gameplay with shiny new graphics but no overbearing narrative. One thing you'll notice immediately is that it takes quite some time to get your hands on the Morph Ball. You'll need to pick up an upgrade in the third area, turn around and head back to the second area, and use that upgrade to kill the E.M.M.I. there, which drops the Morph Ball. A good chunk of the game needs to be played without it, and you'll be dependent on the slide maneuver that serves as a poor woman's Morph Ball. It's a wide departure for gamers like me who are used to the Morph Ball being the first or second item Samus acquires. (No, Metroid still can't crawl.) 

Boss battles are something new, though. In most other Metroid games, as long as you've been looking out for Energy Tanks, you can tank quite a few hits, and most bosses like to spew projectiles that can be shot to release health. Not here. Dread uses the Dark Souls school of boss design: dodge or die. Losing an entire Energy Tank or more from a single hit is common, and the checkpoint immediately before the boss arena will see liberal use. Unfortunately, the functionality for skipping cutscenes is somewhat clunky: you need to press + then - to do so. I understand that you don't want players to skip them by accident, but why not just have them press + twice?

The Switch is by far the most powerful system upon which any Metroid game has ever been released, and the environments really take advantage of the processing power. Ferenia in particular is a treat. It's the Chozo headquarters on ZDR, and unlike any other Chozo area we've seen, it's not a ruin, and is generally in one piece. It's full of decorative Chozo armor and banners, and the backgrounds make it clear that there's lots of staircases running up to more areas that Samus bypasses.

I love this place.

We see more of the Chozo in Dread than in all other Metroid games combined, and they're "brought down to Earth," so to speak. The Mawkin tribe subvert their earlier image as space-hippies who ascended to a higher plane of existence, and they're noticeably inferior to the Federation in some respects. Sure Raven Beak has weapons capable of damaging an E.M.M.I., but he's obviously the elite of the elite. The ordinary (if X-infested) Chozo warriors Samus duels wield spears in battle rather than energy weapons. Additionally, Samus and Adam did a much better job dealing with the X on SR388 than the Chozo ever did. The Chozo's brilliant plan was to create a new super-predator that inevitably started causing its own problems and didn't even wipe out the X completely, while the heroes of Fusion blew up the planet, a simpler and more effective solution.

Lastly, I applaud Mercury Steam for having the courage to omit Ridley from Dread. If Return of Samus is excluded in favor of Samus Returns, Dread is the only main-series Metroid game to skip having a Ridley battle, and I think it's about time the series moved away from him. Samus simply doesn't need Ridley to be an effective heroine, and there's no need to shoehorn him into every game.

But...

There had to be a "but." What this game was actually missing was Kenji Yamamoto. His involvement with the music appears to have been minimal, and it really shows. The music is inoffensive, and some of the tracks are even pretty good, but the soundtrack also includes the Super Metroid theme, and there's really no comparison. None of the new tracks come close to the Lower Norfair theme, or any of the amazing pieces from the Prime games. It actually reminded me of Star Wars: Rogue One, which similarly suffered from its lack of John Williams. No instant classics to be found on this OST, sadly.

You Knew it was Coming

This time, you need to earn the Zero Suit. Unlocking the image depicting it requires completing Normal and Hard (unlocked by completing Normal Mode) Modes in under 4 hours each. That's going to be a formidable challenge for me, though I'm sure the speedrunners at Games Done Quick found it trivial. Hopefully, Dread will become a regular fixture at GDQ and we'll see some truly crazy things.

See you next mission!